Okay so this blog is pretty much going to be me venting because of everything I have been hearing the past week about James and I. Well, mostly me...
James and I started dating on April 3 of last year and have been together ever since except for the two months that I screwed up. Every couple has a few rough patches hear and there but instead of slowing down and realizing that I actually do love him, I rushed to conclusion and broke up with him. It was NOT the thing to do. I obviously regretted it and after talking it out and letting him know that it was a mistake, we got back together.
Within those two or so months we were broken up, I did see other people. Just because I saw another guy does not mean I cheated on James. Which is what I've heard... People are constantly stabbing me in the back while I'm not with them, saying James is better off without me and I'm no good for him. The thing that hurts the most is that instead of letting James and I be happy, people have to stab me in the back and then turn around and ask to hang out with us or act like nothing had even happened when they see me at school. Why are so many people so friggin quick to judge me and my relationship when I know for a fact that none of their relationships are perfect? Everyone couple goes through ups and downs and has disagreements, so why is it such a crime that I do in my relationship? Are they jealous of me or the amazing relationship I now have with James? Haha, I like to think that... But honestly though, I love James and he loves me, thats all that matters<3 I'm not pointing anyone out here, I'm just talking about the stuff I have been hearing lately.

My Babies!

My first baby is named Ortiz. Yes, I named HER after my favorite baseball player, David Ortiz. I know Ortiz is a boy name but there's a story behind it. When I got her in the 5th grade she was the cutest, bug-eyed kitten ever. She had the biggest eyes! Anyways, the day we brought home Ortiz and her sister Manny, we were told that they were both boys. Thats why my brother and I named them after baseball players. Well, their first visit to the vet we got the news that they were both girls. I now call her Ortizie or Ortiz Louise and we just continued to call Manny, Manny. The reason why we did that is because she literally          

                                                                                    was such a manly cat...

My second baby is named Gunny. As you can tell from the picture, he's a goof. Little Gunny BoBo has quite the story as well... A year and a half ago on July 12th, my mom's friend was driving to work when she thought she saw a baby skunk in the middle of the road. When she got out and realized it was a tiny kitten, she immediately took it to the vet and called us up. When she told me about him, I HAD to have him. After getting checked out by the vet, we got the call that we could come pick him up. When I saw him, he was the tiniest kitten I had ever seen. Gunny was only 1 pound 13 ounces! I was so afraid to hold him because he was nothing but skin and bones. Now 

                                                                                    that he is 12 pounds happier, he has the most                                        

                                                                                    personality I have ever seen in a cat.

My newest baby is Kyra lynn. She is the cutest thing ever and has the most energy I've ever seen. Kyra is the type of cat that always surprises you with the crap she does. Kyra does the weirdest things too. Like one night I woke up to her sleeping inside of my pillow case and she loves to sleep under the covers. Actually as I'm writing this, she is on top of the washer sitting in a tiny little basket playing with a nerf gun bullet. Ky also thinks she's a dog and runs around with a ball in her mouth or a fake flower that she has been obsessed with ever since I brought her home. 

-I'm such a cat lady....Don't judge;)

All I want right now is to have warm sunny days, sandals, cute summer clothes and longs days spent at camp. There is just so much more you can do in the summer like bon fires, swimming, mini golf, fishing, hiking and much more. I seriously feel depressed when I realize that there is still three more moths until I can doing everything I just listed off... I'm also really eager for this summer to begin because this will be the first time that I will have the full summer to myself, other then having to work. I won't have to worry about summer soccer starting the week after school ends, soccer camps and then pre-season starting in the middle of August. All I'll have to worry about is getting tan, having fun with family and friends, and preparing myself for taking the next step in life:) 

Although it will be nice not having to worry about sports this summer, I'm really going to miss soccer. Yeah, I complained a lot about the running and the three hour practices during the summer, but thats what soccer is all about.  

 
This summer I turn 18, which I am really excited about! I'm not sure why though, just am .I cannot believe I will be 18 in a few months. My life has literally felt like it has flown by and I'm not sure if I am liking that... After reading Jens blog the other day about growing up, it reminded me of how I use to wish I was older all the time and how much more fun life would be. Well, now that I know what its like to grow up, I wish I didn't wish my younger years away. Growing up really isn't as fun as you think it is when you're 9 or 10. I'm not saying my life has't been fun since i've "grown up" but you know what I mean...

Finally On My Own

School next fall isn't what I'm really nervous about, its the whole "being on you own"is whats kinda freaking me out. Yeah, I am excited to move out and start a new life in my apartment but I'm a little scared. I'm about to take on even more responsibilities that I've never had to worry about before. Responsibilities like buying my own groceries, paying my own bills, and not having my parents to rely on. 

The hardest responsibility that I will have a hard time getting use to is not having my parents to rely on. My parents do so much for me on a daily basis like make sure I actually get up to my alarm, remind me when I have doctor appointments, and constantly telling me to not put off my homework until the last minute. 

What if I don’t wake up to my alarm or shut it off and don’t wake up in time for class? What if I forget to go to my appointments? What if I don’t end up having the self discipline I thought I had? These responsibilities are all very important and I want to be able to show my parents that I am very capable of living on my own and can take on what obstacles I will have to face on my own.

Although, I’m excited to move out, it doesn’t mean that I am going to cut my parents off completely. They’re my parents. Obviously, I’m still going to go to them for certain things and go home every once in a while, but this is just a chance to prove to them that I am capable of living on my own and able to make responsible decisions with out them. 

Since there is only a few months of school left, I can't help but think of how excited I am for this coming fall. I've made my decision on Empire Beauty School to become a cosmetologist. This is something I have always wanted to do since I was little. I'm not doing it for the money or because its "easy", I'm doing it because its something I truly enjoy.
You would be surprised at how many people give me crap about becoming a hair stylist. People tell me things like "You're not gonna make any money", "You're going to school just to play with hair?" And  "Beauty school, really? Thats so easy." First off, I realize that I'm not going to make a crap ton of money but I work with a few hair stylist myself and they are doing perfectly fine. Second off, I'm not going to school to just play with hair, theres a LOT more to it. And third, No one should say anything is easy until they have experienced it.  I also want girls to stop and think about how much they pay for a color or highlights and how often they get them done. Yeah its not cheap... Once I get my cliental up, I could be having  5 to 6 colors or high-lights a day which will add up in a hurry. Oh, AND I will be able to make my own schedule so I can work as much or a little as I want. So I don't care WHAT people think because I'm going to do what makes me happy and if that means becoming a Hairstylist, then so be it.
I guess what I'm really excited for is to just show people how successful I can be being a hairstylist. I hate hearing people say "Oh, I'm going to become a nurse or ship out because they make soooooo much money." Well, those are the kids who are going to struggle through school and dread going to work everyday because they aren't doing what the truly love. They're doing it just for the money. I on the other hand won't think of it as work because its something I LOVE to do.
Even though it will be weird not walking into Bucksport High School this coming fall, I am more then ready to start fresh and prove people wrong.

The trip of a life time!

This past Christmas vacation I got the chance to go to Memphis, Tennessee to represent Maine as Homecoming queen during the Auto Zone Liberty Bowl. I also got to visit St. Jude's Hospital which was such an amazing experience. 

I was also apart of the parade that was held on Beal Street,the day before the big game, which is the street Memphis is known for. The game was an all day event and was an event that I though I would never experience before. Me and all the queens were apart of the pre-game and half time show, getting the chance to preform with Diamond Rio. My fear of being in front of a large group of people suddenly went away after preforming in front of 57, 000 people. 

Seeing kids on Tv and advertisements who were suffering from cancer are very touching and heartbreaking but when I actually walked into St. Jude’s, it all became real. There were little kids with no hair, leg braces, kids in wheelchairs, and kids hooked up to ives. But there was one thing that all of these young children had in common. They were all so happy. Even though each kid was fighting for their life, all you saw were smiles. After seeing pure joy in the kids faces when we all walked in and seeing how amazing St. Jude’s really was, made you forget that you were even in a hospital. I guess thats why the kids always looked happy because St. Jude’s doesnt make it seem like your in a hospital. 

After three days, I had left with three new friends all the way from Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Kansas but unfortunately will probably never see them again. Although I probably won't see them again, we still keep in touch. I learned many things by going on this trip and made a lot of unforgettable memories!

All time favorite show. Can't wait for tonights episode! Team Blake alllllllll the way;)